You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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