You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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