You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
