I got chris browned last night
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
