I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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