yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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