you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have tasted many bathrooms
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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