He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
