whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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