her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
