is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
