I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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