"it" just moved
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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