Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
