quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
