Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize