i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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