Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
