So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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