Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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