Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
