Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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