Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
