I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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