lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
