If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Can't talk, ducks in the car
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
