I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
