I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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