I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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