the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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