The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
