If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
