dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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