hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize