I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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