shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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