Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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