69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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