who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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