i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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