Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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