Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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