isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
