Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
