is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
bring money and cleavage
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think I just sharted jello shots
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
