who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
