Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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