They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
