Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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