So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize