booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
