They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
