Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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