I didn't shave. On purpose
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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