i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
