Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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