The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
