I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
