remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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