new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We got so high we made milksteak
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I fill condoms, not promises.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
