Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
