Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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