I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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